Ah, Stockholders. It's Tuesday. My least favorite day of the week. Never have really been able to pin that one down, but it usually just sucks. While in grad school, Tuesdays became my nemesis because I had completely overscheduled myself. To remedy this, I would adorn my feet with a pair of pea-green socks decorated with cartoon monkeys. I fooled myself into thinking that these little gems would somehow shield me from the horror of Tuesdays. As long as I was wearing the monkey socks, nothing could get me down. In fact, it became such A THING, that my friend Joe would ask me every Tuesday, without fail, if I remembered to wear the monkey socks. The socks have been retired due to overwork on my large-ass size nine feet. Tuesdays, however, will never retire. They had been around long before I was born, and if I may be so bold, they will continue long after I'm dead. And so...while searching for a new pair of primates to get me through the tough times...I will just have to take valium on Tuesdays. Deal with it. And while we're on the subject, how much money would YOU give the monkeys? You know the answer. Don't be afraid. I learned the hard way, but I'm a better person for it.
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