Good Afternoon Stockholders.
It is New Year's Eve, 2007. The Wall Street Office is empty. Everyone has taken the day off. And everyone who doesn't work on Wall Street seems to be roaming this particular neighborhood. You know of whom I speak. Tourists. With their new winter wear, their pocket travel guides, their mini fold-up subway maps. Worst of all, they seem to be completely oblivious of their fellow creatures who actually have to work down here and navigate the human traffic jams. Their necks are craned, the weave in and out, holding hands, slipping into side streets, crowding up the coffee spots. Ugh.
Even my superior didn't show up today. Which means, technically, that I could slip out of here early without repercussion. The life of a Temptress often comes to these odd moments, when you feel like you might be the only one alive. When you feel that your temping duties go unnoticed by a single soul. When the phone hasn't rung more than 7 times in as many hours.
A moment ago, I pawed around in the pantry fridge for something to entertain me, namely a large bottle of Pinot Grigio, but it seems they have confiscated all naughty beverages. Shoot. It's just as well. I have a hard enough time staying awake on the train lately. A few nips from a bottle of wine might just send me carreening to Coney Island for a surprise nap and subsequent mugging.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Everybody's Getting Drunk...
Inspired by the somewhat positive feedback about my recent holiday newsletter, I have decided to record my musings from the Tumultuous World of Temping in a blog. Hey, shut up. Everybody's doing it.
Currently, I am in my seventh week as the Unnecessary Receptionist for a Large Company on Wall Street. This assignment was only supposed to last two weeks, at the most. I must be popular. And irreplaceable. I think it's my intercom voice that has kept me on the books, though. Smooth, sexy and oozing with that special commercial voice-over charm. "May I have your attention please. The Big Meeting with the Free Lunch is taking place in the Middle Conference Room right now. If you're hungry and don't want to spend your own money on crappy Wall Street Catering, get your asses in there. Thank you." People here can't get enough. I have a feeling I'll be with this company through the new year. The best case scenario would be letting me play the Phone Girl until the end of January, just long enough to pay off that pesky American Express Card that has been smoking in my wallet.
Today, promptly at 4:30pm commences the Office Holiday Party. Let us not confuse this with the Office Holiday Brunch or the Company Holiday Bash from last week. From the sounds I can hear floating up from the eighth floor pantry, it is evident that they have begun the gift exchange. I sit here, drinking my confiscated white wine out of a opaque coffee cup, thanking GOD that I must be chained to the desk, answering phones. Nothing like trying to mingle in a group of people who have worked together for years, while all of you are thinking the same thing. "Well...what's-her-name won't be here for much longer. Why start any kind of awkward conversation?" Plus, my commute will be a lovely ride with a solid wine buzz about my person. Why ruin it beforehand with an attempt to explain WHY I am a temp(tress). That will only beg questions about my acting career and why I'm not in anything that they've seen before. I could even be so lucky as to attract the gentleman who has endless tips for auditioning. "Yeah, I guess that IS a good idea. Why did I never think of watching the trailer for that movie on Netflix and COPY what the actor is doing?" Suits have all the good auditioning tips. They oughta get together and write a book for actors. Best Loved Monologues from Wall Street. I'd buy it. Merry Christmas Stockholders.
Currently, I am in my seventh week as the Unnecessary Receptionist for a Large Company on Wall Street. This assignment was only supposed to last two weeks, at the most. I must be popular. And irreplaceable. I think it's my intercom voice that has kept me on the books, though. Smooth, sexy and oozing with that special commercial voice-over charm. "May I have your attention please. The Big Meeting with the Free Lunch is taking place in the Middle Conference Room right now. If you're hungry and don't want to spend your own money on crappy Wall Street Catering, get your asses in there. Thank you." People here can't get enough. I have a feeling I'll be with this company through the new year. The best case scenario would be letting me play the Phone Girl until the end of January, just long enough to pay off that pesky American Express Card that has been smoking in my wallet.
Today, promptly at 4:30pm commences the Office Holiday Party. Let us not confuse this with the Office Holiday Brunch or the Company Holiday Bash from last week. From the sounds I can hear floating up from the eighth floor pantry, it is evident that they have begun the gift exchange. I sit here, drinking my confiscated white wine out of a opaque coffee cup, thanking GOD that I must be chained to the desk, answering phones. Nothing like trying to mingle in a group of people who have worked together for years, while all of you are thinking the same thing. "Well...what's-her-name won't be here for much longer. Why start any kind of awkward conversation?" Plus, my commute will be a lovely ride with a solid wine buzz about my person. Why ruin it beforehand with an attempt to explain WHY I am a temp(tress). That will only beg questions about my acting career and why I'm not in anything that they've seen before. I could even be so lucky as to attract the gentleman who has endless tips for auditioning. "Yeah, I guess that IS a good idea. Why did I never think of watching the trailer for that movie on Netflix and COPY what the actor is doing?" Suits have all the good auditioning tips. They oughta get together and write a book for actors. Best Loved Monologues from Wall Street. I'd buy it. Merry Christmas Stockholders.
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